My 10 GOAT Workout Albums: Part 2
i-finally-went-outside edition
paramore by paramore (2013, power pop)
The albums that come out during formative times in our lives will always contain a potent magic. This one, which came out right as I finished up my freshman year of high school, makes me feel better and bigger than I really am. Perhaps I should associate it with the dark days I found it in: taking class online, shirking all my friendships, too depressed to leave the house. But instead, I associate it with immeasurable, saturating light.
And so maybe it’s a stand-in — for the records you’ve found when nothing else worked. That you played to death to keep yourself alive and dancing, fighting against your own limitations. These are the charms worth carrying when you’re taking on challenges, whether you’re crying in your car or pushing through a long run.
essential song: “Proof”
pair with: a sunny day bike ride
the lull factor: 3/10 — this album’s got some sleepier tracks, but it’s long enough to get trimmed down and still do the trick
atrocity exhibition by danny brown (2016, experimental hip hop)
Danny Brown’s voice will undoubtedly be the first thing you notice about him, no matter which album you play. Sharp and defiant, he’s unafraid of ridiculousness; It’s a pool he dives into, headfirst, dozens of times on his projects. In fact, it’s not one he leaves often, opting to flavor even his darkest lyrics with his signature, rowdy delivery .
This album is his danciest, his boldest, and his most psychedelic. As the title track “Downward Spiral” might imply, it feels like a true descent. A journey to the heart of some fundamental madness that tantalizes and traps, as undeniably dark as it is addictive and celebratory. It’s easy to lose yourself here. It’s a record about intoxication, and it’s intoxicating as hell.
essential song: “When it Rain”
pair with: diving into an actual pool
the lull factor: 1/10 - tempos ebb and flow here, but this one’s too immersive to skip a second.
painkiller by judas priest (1990, heavy metal)
What does it mean to be unapologetically queer? This is a question that holds a lot of political weight right now. But those trying to police this quality will never have that answer. It’s impossible to define or legislate.
Rob Halford didn’t come out until 1998. Does this mean that Priest’s classic work is somehow not true to who he is? Hell no! Signals to the LGBT community were all over Priest’s early projects, from their leather-clad signature look, to the lyrics on tracks like “Raw Deal”. But for me, when I think about albums that make me feel powerful and secure in who I am, the tracks on Painkiller are at the top of the list.
I can see my future / Writing’s on the wall / Legend in my lifetime / Stories will recall
These lyrics (from “Leather Rebel”) go hard during a workout, and are a blistering display of magnetic confidence. But they’re especially potent coming from a gay man, writing them in the 1980’s while at the helm of a culturally massive (and allegedly hetero-masculine) musical genre. These songs will hold different meaning for different people, casting a self-assured glow on whatever walk of life you choose to tread. But their effervescent power is undeniably a queer one, and their scorching nonapology is a mighty reminder: Queer resistance is not new, queer people create culture, and queer community is here to stay.
essential song: “Hell Patrol”
pair with: a long run, or whatever makes up your personal training montage
the lull factor: 0/10 - arguing that this one has a “lull” would be blasphemy
leprosy by death (1988, death metal)
Death have one of those discographies that’s pretty much impossible to critique. Picking out a favorite album is like picking a favorite child. It’s just that all your children are a little bit weird and loud and the school counselor keeps sending them home for drawing skeletons in the margins of their spelling tests...
While Death’s later albums get a little more philosophical (ironically), it’s their early stuff that’s essential to my gym playlists. Leprosy in particular is too jam-packed with bangers to deny — Its energy is relentless and the riffs are super-charged enough to propel you straight to your chosen victory. From the title track’s grotesque portraiture to the churning plea of “Pull the Plug”, this is one of the catchiest death metal albums in the world, and it’s perfect for any activity that demands a bit of fury .
essential song: “Pull the Plug”
pair with: a home workout, so no one can judge you or your air guitar
the lull factor: 0/10 - If sheer energy is what you’re after, this is the record for you.
you’re not alone by andrew w.k. (hard rock)
What role should earnestness play in music? It sounds like a silly question, but it’s one I find myself wrestling with when conversations turn to artists like Andrew W.K.
“Pretentious” seems like a pretty decisively bad thing to be. We don’t like to feel like someone is masquerading as something they’re not, aiming to deceive us with the smoke and mirrors of artsy tropes and big words. (This is, of course, something I have never done…) But somehow, “excessively earnest” is not a great thing to be either. Or perhaps it’s just not something we buy very often, ever-suspicious of those who seem too fervent, too intense, or simply too happy.
Andrew W.K.’s music is deeply silly, but it is also deeply earnest — and these “facts” of his constructed character (be they facts or utter fiction) are on brightest display here, on You’re Not Alone. This album intersperses bright, anthemic rock songs with literal self-help spoken word tracks. And it would suck…If it didn’t feel totally and unwaveringly earnest. It’s a perfect hit of motivation, whether you’re out there climbing mountains, or your mountain is the next few hours of work.
essential song: “Music is Worth Living For”
pair with: facing an old fear
the lull factor: 1/10 - Sure, those spoken word tracks aren’t starting any parties, but they’re an integral part of the album’s charm.
Thanks again for tuning in! I don’t have much to add this week. It’s been an oddly long one…anyone else?
I made a little playlist for this recent set of articles, available on Spotify and Apple Music.
Until next time: Get some goddamn sunshine!
Clare